How do you know what it is you really want? I ask those I am coaching that question and I amazed at the number of people who to struggle with that question.

How about you? If you are having trouble defining what it is you want figuring that out is your first step. Everytime I ask someone that, I see the cloud come over their eyes as they try to figure it out. How about if you start by listing what you don’t like. Ahhh! Do more things come to mind? If you are like most of us than you can list things that you are not happy with or don’t want in your life. Start here by listing what is not working. Another way of looking at this may be….What am I tolerating in my life!

Tolerations can tie us up! I use to have a list of have to’s Things I have to do, or be, or have. After awhile they began to feel like chains I was dragging behind me. Strive to eliminate any tolerations!. Here is a method to follow. As described in Laura Berman Fortgang’s book, Now What: 90 Days to a New Life Direction, list what you are tolerating then create a possible solution to this toleration, then give yourself a projected date to complete it. Usual at this point, an example comes in handy. Okay, let me give you one of mine. I have to admit, this one is a safe one! Maybe I will try a riskier one on you later. Here we go!

Where I work, we measure performance using Dashboards. Well the dashboard for my role is very vague and fails to measure the quality of the work we do. We have used this Dashboard for several years because it is easier to use it for the information it tracks yet it really doesn’t help us improve the quality of the work we do. Each month when we cover it in staff meetings everyone complains about it’s effectiveness yet we keep going with it. Well, this month I decided to suggest an idea that we survey our clients and use the data ito determine what our clients want from us and thereby create a new more preoductive dashboard. Just the relief that we are moving in a more positive direction has given more energy to the group.

So your time, what are  you tolerating? Is it a long stressful commute? A house that is too large, too small, too disorganized? A career that ceased to be challenging a few years back? An extra 20 pounds? Too much debt? Think about it, what is keeping you up at night? Once you list these tolerations, list a do-able solution. Spend sometime considering a solution that is realistic and possible. Then give yourself a timeframe to have it completed by. In my example above, I realized that it would take until December 2007 to have a new Dashboard completed.

Wonder what is next? That’s right, out of this you can begin to create a vision of the life you want to create for yourself.  From here you begin to see your wants and needs. Try to list what you do want for your life. Next time we will talk about letting go and moving on! Till then, spend some time journaling about your vision for the life you want.

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