Unleashing a New Life Direction

Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”

– Anthony Robbins

Are you asking yourself questions when you are stuck? in doubt? puzzled?

There is power in questions. Sometimes we don’t have any idea what the answer will be. Often we may not even know the questions to ask. One thing I have learned is that when we are stuck, in doubt, in wonder, in pain, puzzled, it is worth our time to ask questions for better understanding. 

Questions can be very empowering and open us up to what’s next for us! The Now What Program has exercises that will be asking you to explore ongoing questions that will be very empowering, before taking the program you can ask yourself some questions to help you understand now. The following are some of the questions I ask myself now when I am stuck or struggling.

 Is there a message for me in this experience?

What’s the gift in this situation?

What can I learn from this?
What’s the most loving thing I could do now?
What’s the most important thing for me to focus on now?
What would I do if I knew I could not fail?
What would I do if there were nothing to fear?

“What” questions open us up to what is possible for us! Even if you are imagining at first. The power of this comes from how you can begin to look at a situation. Let’s see how this can all unfold….

This past weekend I attended a Marketing and Sales event, I was out of my element. I was very excited to be there I had placed high expectations or intentions for the weekend. However, it did not play out the way I intended at all. I left the event in shock. So many thoughts of doubt, confusion and lack of clarity were going through my head. This helped me realize I needed to evaluate what I was feeling. So on the plane ride home I had a 3 hour stopover in Detriot. I used that time to ask myself these questions about the events of the weekend.

Is there a message for me in this experience? Yes, as I noticed what I attracted I began to see a pattern and from this pattern there was a message for me that is just becoming clear now. In the Marketplace exercise I keep linking up with other coaches and I was amazed to see that I kept coming across people like myself…it gave me a chance to see how I compared to them.

 What’s the gift in this situation? I got to see myself through the eyes of others and see how I can allow myself to be taken off my course by the feedback of others. I lacked clarity and that became overwhelmingly obvious to me.

 What can I learn from this? To follow my path which may mean slowing down and taking baby steps instead of trying to move to the beat of another drummer.

What’s the most loving thing I could do now? Practice self empathy. Accept where I am in my path  and look for ways to grow in healthy directions.

 What’s the most important thing for me to focus on now? For me baby steps, get my own immediate needs taken care of first so that I am not anxious and stessed about that. Take care of things at home and get established with speaking engagements in my community. Do what I do well, provide the people management training program and facilitate the Biz Clinic with my Coaching partner.

 What would I do if I knew I could not fail? Hmmm, what an interesting question. Take risks and accept whatever the outcome is as feedback. Create my Vision for my business. Discover what I do best and do it! March to m own drummer!

What would if there was nothing to fear? Be true to myself and not worry that it doesn’t look the same as it does for everyone else. I am where I am and there is a gift in knowing that. 

Hmmm, Now What???

 This week consider an exercise in your life that causes you to pause…use that time to reflect on these questions and see what you come up with. See you next week.

 “A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.”

 ”You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.”

– Henry David Thoreau

What a week! Just how much can we cram into a week? I would say that most of those I come in contact with are doing 48 hours worth of work and packing it into 24 hours. That makes you wonder when do they sleep. What is the hurry? Why are we all so busy? You might think that people who are that busy are getting a lot completed, reaching goals, making progress, feeling deeply satisfied! If you had to guess, how true a statement would you say that is? Well,truth be told we are very busy but not very satisfied. I have been guilty of this myself. I use to be the busiest person I know, I was often exhausted and realized I had very little to show for it. So something had to give. I decided it would not be my well being. I realized I wanted to experience more of my life not just live in the fast lane with no peace, no quiet time, no money, no satisfaction and a lot of frustration.

The first step for me was to decide what was most important to me, what are my values. What did I want to create in my life? I realized this meant, I had to work smarter not harder. I looked at the “busyness” and asked myself,  What was I so busy doing ? As I really looked at it I could see that the busyness was not productive, purposeful or directed. Once I defined my values (coach, create, abundance and peace) it helped me eliminate  all the things that failed to satisfy or enhance these values and to maintain the things that did. With this shift, I was able to balance my time, making room for what was most important and eliminating what was not. I don’t miss those things today and in the case of people issues that I was taking on that were not mine to take on, I have opened a space for those people to grow through their own issues rather than letting me carry it for them. What peace!

What will you do with all this free time? Hopefully you will have additional time for you to breathe. I found time for the work of the Now What program. One of the steps of the program is to actualize your values. The is the foundation, the first step from which everything else we do flows.

Please visit http: blogtalkradio.com Your Creative Coach Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction. There are two previous shows are posted there under my name. Both are various ways of looking at the Now What Program and how it can empower you.

Soon I will be scheduling another and requesting you call in to participate. Stay tuned!

In a yoga class recently, my instuctor talked to us about knowing our Dharma. I had always wanted to understand what Dharma referred to, so I listened quite intently while he spoke. This is what I learned from what he said. 

 ”Dharma” means “protection”. By practising Buddha’s teachings we protect ourself from suffering and problems. All the problems we experience during daily life originate in ignorance, and the method for eliminating ignorance is to practise Dharma.

Practising Dharma is the supreme method for improving the quality of our human life. The quality of life depends not upon external development or material progress, but upon the inner development of peace and happiness. 

If we integrate Buddha’s teachings into our daily life, we will be able to solve all our inner problems and attain a truly peaceful mind. Without inner peace, outer peace is impossible.”

Very wise young man,! He went on to explain that there are three questions we can each ask ourselves to attain our own personal Dharma. I bet you can guess what the first question is! I have talked about it here before, the one question most of the people I coach have the most trouble answering. What do you want? No, what do you really want? So can you answer that question? What’s your best answer? To be a millionnaire! To get a promotion! To find Mr or Ms Wonderful! Peace on Earth, good will to all!

I decided I could not ask others this question if I could not answer it for myself. After much thought I realized that what is most important to me is to live authentically, in my integrity. Okay, new age terms, what does that mean.? Well for me, practicing what I preach, living a life that is healthy and balanced. For me that meant looking at how I manage my health, wealth and relationships. Okay sounds easy enough right? Well actually it has been a journey of discovery for me. I would say it started years ago and perhaps it did, but the most growth for me has taken place over the last two years and it continues.

After you can name what you really want, ask yourself, “What does this mean to you?” This is the question that will get you thinking and really examining what value this has for you. It may also take you up and down some different paths to get focused on what you really want. For me as a coach it is “walking my talk”. What I love about my coach is her integrity, honesty and authenicity. If she lacked that, it would be hard for me to work with her. So answering this question will get you to the core of who you are.

Okay, nothing matters if this next question isn’t answered…..“What are you willing to do to have it?”  Action the most important step of all. What keeps most people from reaching their goals? Not taking steady and consistent action. People are great at setting goals, however most goals that are set are never reached. It’s what keeps us stating the same New Year’s Resolution year after year. In order to reach your Dharma, inner peace…you must take ACTION. And for me there is one question I would add to these three, “By when?”  The accountability factor is the bow on the package. Better yet commit to someone you trust and ask them to hold you accountable.

One of the first steps for me toward answering these questions for my own life was the Now What exercises. As a facilitator I went through the program first. I read the book, was in a group and completed the exercises, did the research and homework and answered all the questions. I can’t promise exactly how your life will change however I can tell you doing the work will opening you up to new possibilities. Try it and See! Listen to my Blog Radio program recorded on September 12th or join me for this week’s program on Wednesday, September 19th at 6:00 PM EST or 3:00 Pacific time. Tune in at….http://www.blogtalkradio.com.

Seek not happiness too greedily, and be not fearful of unhappiness.”

– Lao-tzu

With all the different ways those “Now What” moments can occur in our lives, there is one that I have not spoken of yet.  Sometimes we discover our steps to a “Now What” experience because of a disappointment. So what does that mean? Well, you know… something doesn’t go as we planned.

For my son this week, it was getting cut from his college hockey team. So what who cares!, you may say. But for him, hockey is all he knows. He has played hockey since he was 5  years old. He took to sports at an early age and we discovered hockey and later that year he was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. It did not take me long to realize the behavior that plagued him in the class room never affected him when playing sports. So hockey became his saving grace. It became his structure, his reliable source of high self esteem and within no time, his passion. When playing hockey there are tryouts all the time for competitive teams. If a player did not make one team, there was always the chance of playing on another team. So until he failed to make this team, he never faced not being able to play at all. As he told me the story of how the coaches told him that he was not in shape and therefore as much as they liked him and how he played, he was not as fit as other players so he was the last one to be cut. The shock he faced was numbing, he said to me, “Now what am I going to do? I don’t remember my life before hockey.” I was in shock too. However thanks to information I have learned watching people go through Now What? I realized that this is a turning point, a fork in the road, a wake-up call! While it appears to be the end of the world, truth be told, it isn’t. It is an opportunity for growth.

What about you? What situations have occurred in your life that took you by surprise, caught your breathe and had you feeling like, “Now What am I going to do.” I don’t think we grow without facing some adversity first. Pain seems to be a motivating factor in turning lives around. Even though we talk about making change, taking risk and starting fresh, most people won’t do it unless the pain they are in is too dreadful to continue without making a change. It is almost as if we are bullied into making a change. Do or Die!

For my son, he immediately recognized what he could have done differently. I encouraged him to stay in shape all summer but friends, summer laziness and X-Box games won. Now he sees things differently and has learned the error of his ways. He is committed to getting in shape, getting a job and being ready for the chance to try again. As fate should have it, his roomate made the team and so did his other friends, so he will have to face it every day that they did and he didn’t. He immediately recognized that they stayed in shape and worked hard and earned the right to be on the team and he had not. He was happy for them. For himself he made a committment to change. What we do with this forks in the road is what true growth is all about. How many people stay stuck in their stories, focusing on the noise, become victims and how many use it as a motivating factor for growth.

The Now What program has supported thousands through those moments and transitions.

Join me this week at Blog Radio for a live blog call in program.  Blg Radio is a talking blog with programs taped for future listening, you can attend my calling the number and call in to speak to the host while on line.

Date: Wednesday, September 12th,

Time: 6:00 PM EST, (3:00 Pacific)

Call: (646) 716-9870

Topic: Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction - What’s Missing From Your Life and What can you do about it!

See you there!

I like thinking of possibilities. At any time, an entirely new possibility is liable to come along and spin you off in an entirely new direction. The trick, I’ve learned, is to be awake to the moment.”

– Doug Hall

I have been passionate about the Now What Program for some time now, you have read my reflections on it here. What never ceases to amaze me is how many ways the value of this experience can rise to the surface. Yesterday, September 2nd was my son’s 18th birthday. A week earlier I had dropped him off at college. It was hard to leave, but not as hard as I thought. I got through the first week without him, barely shedding a tear. I knew all week I would be seeing him again, I am happy about the choice he made in colleges, he is happy, content and enjoys time with a circle of friends. So I went up to see him yesterday. It was a 2 hour drive, a beautiful one at that. I arrived in time for a yoga class and then planned to meet up with him.

It had only been a week and already he seemed more mature, wiser, more courageous. He had just eaten so there was no sense in eating again so we just found a place to sit and talk. I felt there were so many things I wanted to tell him.  As I listened to him talk I realized I did not have to tell him anything. He is strong, brave and sure. I realized he had turned out exactly the way I always dreamed he would. I told him I had come because I really wasn’t sure what else to do. He looked at me and said, “Now you get to do your coaching.”

You see I first heard about the profession of coaching when he was less than a year old. I wanted to have a coaching career then but being a mother became more dominant in my life. For me being a mother was a full time job, I am a single parent so I was his mother and his father. I don’t regret one day of life since he was born. However now, our paths must change. He is creating a new path for his life and it is finally time for me to create the path I have always wanted for me.

So here I am beginning a new transition. What a perfect opportunity to uncover limiting beliefts, rely on my intuition and create the possibilities that are there before me  Transitions can take on so many forms. How many can you think of? Okay so far we have:

• life after your son/daughter goes off to college - now what do I do with my life?
• new career - I’m finished working for someone else, what about me?
• transition to retirement - now what am I going to do?
• company layoffs - what else can I do with my life
• graduating from college not sure what I want to do with my life
• marriage and children but I don’t just want to stay home and raise kids
• after divorce - time for a new beginning

As much as it hurt to say good bye to my son, I also knew today was the first day of the rest of my life. Hiding behind raising my son was safe and convenient. I had a noble cause, raising my son, but it kept me so preccupied and busy that I did not have to challenge myself to take on new risk, new opportunities, new adventures.

What is exciting to focus on are the possibilities! The 9o day program to uncover a new life direction, is exciting work. However, it can be very scary to discover new possibilities. Telling the truth about what you want, realizing past negative patterns and even seeing your dreams come true can hold unpredictable emotional reactions. Behind all the emotion and uncomfortable moments is the opportunity for growth.

You will be encouraged to courageously begin to analyze your beliefs, one at a time. Ask yourself, if you have sound reason for each of your beliefs. As you do this, you will find that many of your strongest convictions have absolutely no foundation. You will also begin to realize that some of your beliefs are toally absurd. For the most part, our beliefs are something we inherited, learned and practiced for many years. Regardless, one of the most important responsibilities each of us faces is to review out personal belief system. Some of our beliefs are keeping us blocked from moving forward, in this program we will look at those and replace them with more empowering beliefs.

I have long believed that my life was made better by being my son’s mother. I have given it my all and it is a wonderful son. Now he is ready to create his own path and as such I will get to shift my limiting beliefs with empowering beliefs for my own life. I am no longer marked in the world only by my role as mother, I am also a coach, a motivator, a leader and a successful business woman.

” The highest reward for a person’s toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.” John Ruskin