Unleashing a New Life Direction

I have been passionate about the Now What Program for some time now, you have read my reflections on it here. What never ceases to amaze me is how many ways the value of this experience can rise to the surface. Yesterday, September 2nd was my son’s 18th birthday. A week earlier I had dropped him off at college. It was hard to leave, but not as hard as I thought. I got through the first week without him, barely shedding a tear. I knew all week I would be seeing him again, I am happy about the choice he made in colleges, he is happy, content and enjoys time with a circle of friends. So I went up to see him yesterday. It was a 2 hour drive, a beautiful one at that. I arrived in time for a yoga class and then planned to meet up with him.

It had only been a week and already he seemed more mature, wiser, more courageous. He had just eaten so there was no sense in eating again so we just found a place to sit and talk. I felt there were so many things I wanted to tell him.  As I listened to him talk I realized I did not have to tell him anything. He is strong, brave and sure. I realized he had turned out exactly the way I always dreamed he would. I told him I had come because I really wasn’t sure what else to do. He looked at me and said, “Now you get to do your coaching.”

You see I first heard about the profession of coaching when he was less than a year old. I wanted to have a coaching career then but being a mother became more dominant in my life. For me being a mother was a full time job, I am a single parent so I was his mother and his father. I don’t regret one day of life since he was born. However now, our paths must change. He is creating a new path for his life and it is finally time for me to create the path I have always wanted for me.

So here I am beginning a new transition. What a perfect opportunity to uncover limiting beliefts, rely on my intuition and create the possibilities that are there before me  Transitions can take on so many forms. How many can you think of? Okay so far we have:

• life after your son/daughter goes off to college - now what do I do with my life?
• new career - I’m finished working for someone else, what about me?
• transition to retirement - now what am I going to do?
• company layoffs - what else can I do with my life
• graduating from college not sure what I want to do with my life
• marriage and children but I don’t just want to stay home and raise kids
• after divorce - time for a new beginning

As much as it hurt to say good bye to my son, I also knew today was the first day of the rest of my life. Hiding behind raising my son was safe and convenient. I had a noble cause, raising my son, but it kept me so preccupied and busy that I did not have to challenge myself to take on new risk, new opportunities, new adventures.

What is exciting to focus on are the possibilities! The 9o day program to uncover a new life direction, is exciting work. However, it can be very scary to discover new possibilities. Telling the truth about what you want, realizing past negative patterns and even seeing your dreams come true can hold unpredictable emotional reactions. Behind all the emotion and uncomfortable moments is the opportunity for growth.

You will be encouraged to courageously begin to analyze your beliefs, one at a time. Ask yourself, if you have sound reason for each of your beliefs. As you do this, you will find that many of your strongest convictions have absolutely no foundation. You will also begin to realize that some of your beliefs are toally absurd. For the most part, our beliefs are something we inherited, learned and practiced for many years. Regardless, one of the most important responsibilities each of us faces is to review out personal belief system. Some of our beliefs are keeping us blocked from moving forward, in this program we will look at those and replace them with more empowering beliefs.

I have long believed that my life was made better by being my son’s mother. I have given it my all and it is a wonderful son. Now he is ready to create his own path and as such I will get to shift my limiting beliefs with empowering beliefs for my own life. I am no longer marked in the world only by my role as mother, I am also a coach, a motivator, a leader and a successful business woman.

” The highest reward for a person’s toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.” John Ruskin

Do you believe that every one has a life purpose? How many believe that? How many don’t care? Perhaps you do, perhaps you don’t. Regardless perhaps after reading this blog today you will be persuaded to think differently. 

About 6 months ago I was in a coaching session with women named Edie.  She knew there was something more for her than her current job in Corporate America. What had happened to her dreams of becoming a lawyer? Of all the hopes and plans her family had for her as she was growing up in Bizbee, Arizona? She desperately wanted to learn what her real purpose was and how to direct her life so it would not escape her. 

 I suggested she work with me on this process we have been talking about here. The process was created by Laura Berman Fortgang called, “90 Days to a New Life Direction” or for short, “Now what?” This workshop provides a simple yet effective process that is made up of two parts. The first part helps you determine the direction or next moves of your life by asking you to look in unexpected places. The second part of the process gets you into action and helps you redesign your life to accommodate the changes you are thinking of making. So what’s in it for you to take on such a venture? Perhaps you already know your purpose and the way to get there, but what if you don’t? Listen on! The Now What?  process contains 3 practices that support identifying your life direction. 

Developing Your Intuition is one part. What does that mean? How do you know when you know something in your gut? What is that like? How did you know you should join Toastmasters? Marry your spouse? Give that speech that won you best speaker? Everyone possesses intuition, your challenge is to tap it, trust it and use it to your advantage. I coach someone named Tim that has a knack for knowing who to hire for our High potential program at work. He can see talent and capability in applicants while visiting at the local colleges. So far all of those he has selected and coached through the program have been winners. I asked him what he attributed to his high success rate. He responded, “I’m not sure, it something about the way they respond to my questions, engage in dialogue, I just know it when I talk with them. I just get a hunch.”  He realized at one point that he had made a shift in how he looked at intuition, it wasn’t just for women, he learned to trust it which now allows him to continually tap into it. Sources of your intuition are your emotions, mood, energy level and physical sensations.

Once you begin to tap into your intuition you will see many hidden beliefs that may be holding you back. During this 90 day process this is what you learn to tackle next, managing your beliefs. As anyone who spends Sunday night preparing for a speech in Toastmasters knows, beliefs are very powerful, they either empower you to write that winning speech that makes you feel great or they stop you dead in your tracks and have your pacing your room all night for a topic. They shape the way you see the world and influence the actions you take. Truth be told, most limits are self-imposed. Limiting beliefs operate just below the surface of your consciousness. I want you to find and remove the counterproductive beliefs standing in your way. Learning to surface, name and shift limiting beliefs to empowering beliefs is a skill that takes attention and focus to master. One of my coachees, Kristen changed her limiting belief about what she could and could not achieve by asking herself, “ What do I hold true about getting this job in HR that is counterproductive,” and then replacing it with, “What can I hold true that would be more productive?” Today she is working her dream position in recruiting high potential candidates for our ACE program.  

Once you start to tap into your intuition and manage your limiting beliefs, creating possibility is possible. The dictionary defines possibility as “a potentially favorable result.”  Possibility is often confused with probability, which in turn is defined as “relatively likely but not certain”. Probability is more of a measurement which by definition is limiting. Possibility is based on abundance and has no limits. Possibility arises out of vision. Vision can be broken down into a picture of a future that has not yet happened. Use vision as a framework for creating possibility I asked Andy what did he dream about or hope for in a professional future? When you answer that question, don’t edit what comes up, these are the possibilities for your future. In Andy’s case he had a vision of becoming a manager despite the fact that there were seldom opportunities in his current environment for that to happen. He continued to develop this possibility and almost as if by plan, the manager in the IT group decided to change careers and try her hand at Real Estate. Andy was primed and ready for the role. Today, that is the position he enjoys.

What if you were to brainstorm the possibilities for your life, in this program participants have the opportunity to create what is possible in fiction. Whatever there wildest intentions can create, write it down, capture it, revisit it, what does it say about how your life can look? 

Excavating your Life Blueprint is a nonlinear journey. You must be ready willing and able to expand your self awareness, surface and face your blocks and expand your possibility creating ability. Then and only then can you put yourself in opportunity’s way where synchronicity, coincidence and luck can show up and guide you. Another name for luck? Preparation meeting opportunity.  

So what about you? What questions about your life keep you awake at night? Better yet, what you long to do about it? Grab the opportunity to know your purpose and redesign your life to live it. There may be many ways to do that, my suggestion is Laura Berman Fortgang’s “90 Days to a New Life Direction.”  Remember to check out the free preview call on Wednesday, August 29th at 7:00 EST by dialing into 1-218-486-1300 access code…248877.

Announcing a preview teleclass on an upcoming Now What Workshop starting in September!

Have you been wondering what it would be like to realize your purpose and develop a plan to make it happen? Join me on August 29th for a FREE preview class on Teleclass.com.

We have been talking about what a Now What Workshop can do for you. Let’s spend some time breaking down what the 12 weeks actually look like.

The program is broken down into two parts. The first part makes up weeks 1-7. This part is entitled, Naming What Is.

First we start by asking, what are we tolerating? Chapter One is called, “What You Hate Gives A Name to What You Want. Working through the exercises in this chapter you will begin to develop solutions to things that seem like complaints today. Eliminate those tolerations and move on.

Chapter Two is “With Every Gain There is a Loss” - what will you have to let go of in order to move on to something new, what’s holding you back? Time to set priorities!

Chapter Three is “Most Limits are Self Imposed”. Our limiting beliefs may have a great impact on why we have not been able to accomplish what we say we most want to do in our lives.  We will use a four step process to eliminate those limiting beliefs once and for all.

Chapter Four is “The Past Holds the Clues to the Future”. Each participant will be documenting their lives and then looking for clues. Discover your Interrupted Dreams, Golden Threads and Driving Motivators.

Chapter Five is “The Purpose in Your Life is Right Under Your Nose”. This week will begin some research that involves asking your family and friends to tell you who you are to them. Discover the clues that are present in your life today that may point to your real purpose in life.

Chapter Six is “Your Purpose Needs a Vehicle.” Your exploration continues here, be adventureous. Find others who are doing what you want to do and talk to them about their choice, does that help you see yourself in this role?

Chapter Seven is “Your Criteria for Happiness, Is this Really ‘It”? The exercises in this week work is about defining your needs and values. We will have you define your 3 top needs and your 3 top values.

Moving on to Part II will bring a new found energy and excitement, now that you know where you want to go, how are you going to get there? Start the second half of the program and discover, “Getting There.”

Chapter Eight is “The Bottom Line is the Bottom Line” Until now we have avoided looking at your financial state of mind. What will it do for you to know where you stand once and for all? You will have two weeks at this phase of the program to really get down to bare bones. The sheets in the workbook will provide the necessary structure and make it easy for you to get to the bottom line.

Chapter Nine is “Life Often Imitates Art; Write Your Own Fiction”. Put on your creative cap, write out some stories about how your life can look, again, don’t try to be too linear, think outside the box and then take the Free Fall.

Chapter Ten is “Put Yourself in Opportuity’s Way.” This week will be an exploration in visualization. See yourself in your new life and act as if…

Chapter Eleven is “You Don’t Have to Do it Alone.” In this week’s work we will define what support means to you and who your support system is. Who do you want on your team? 

Chapter Twelve is “Following Your BluePrint”.Putting it all together, here you will create and map out a plan for the next year. This plan will include action steps, benchmarks and oh yeah, celebrations!

Join me for two preview calls, one will be Wednesday, August 29th at 7:00 EST (4:00 PST) If you miss that one, join us for the next one, Wednesday, September 5th at 7:00 PM.

Dial in from anywhere in the world by calling: 1-218-486-1300 access code:248877 

See you there!

The 12 week workshop begins Wednesday, September 12th at 7:00 PM EST and ends Wednesday, December 12th. There will be a build in break no classes on Wednesday, October 31st and Wednesday, November 21st. The total cost is $200 a month for 3 months and includes Laura Berman Fortgang, book, “Now What? 90 Days to  New Life Direction” and the accompanying workbook. This is a $50 value.

So what did you learn about yourself when you took the quiz? Any surprises? Hopefully your learned something about where you are and where you want to go now.  Completing the quiz can be revealing, it was for several of the people I have worked with . What was blocking Tim turned out to be his finances. In section G of the quiz, he had checked true to every statement. Even though he knew he was frustrated with his lack of financial success he had no idea how blocked he was. He admitted he never had the time to really sit down and look at where he was let alone determine where he wanted to go. As we worked together he realized maybe that is why he never made more than enough to cover his monthly expenses.  In the Now What Program we don’t get to your finances until 8 weeks into the program. Why so long before taking this often critical view on things? Well, historically it is where people get stuck. It wouldn’t help to get stuck in the beginning and not be able to move on. By time we get 8 weeks into the program you will be more inspired to continue on through your financial analysis and onto to the end of the program. For Tim, he was motivated to take action. Once he determined what his purpose was (to create and run his own business) he was inspired to use his technical skill set to start his own website design company creating a Cash Machine to begin building wealth.  Through this program, Tim was able to discover a new life direction for him, get out of consumer debt and build the life that had evaded him until now.

Every chapter in this program has the potential to open new doors for you! Which lesson will hold the most punch for you?

This week as you go through your day spend some time journaling about what is possible if you discover what’s next? Read More »

Okay so we have been doing some talking about creating a life worth living, but how do you begin, exactly how can you figure out where you are stuck in your life? Laura Berman Fortgang’s Now What program includes a Quiz that you can take to see where you may be in the process of being stuck and give you some direction on getting unstuck. I have included it on this blog as a separate page. Check it out!

The quiz will help you identify your blocks. It is divided into sections and each section is covered by one of the chapters of the book, “Now What: 90 Days to  New Life Direction.”

Important to answer the questions as honestly as you can. Try not to think about it too much just use your intuition and answer the questions. When one of my clients took the quiz and then went through the program she was able to anticipate with each chapter which blocks she would be facing. It helped to act as a precursor for each point and each section as she worked through it.  Julie was struggling with having a purpose in her life and she was able to see that as she answered the questions in section E and recalled that people were always telling her how creative she was and what a good eye she had for design. Working through the program she realized her dream to become an interior designer. 

 So what about you? Are you re-evaluating your career?  Are you ready to explore new horizons? Or are you needing to do something radically different with your life. Now is the time to discover what lies ahead for you. Have fun with the quiz and then explore your place in the upcoming programs available in September!

These 3 action words describe it all! Once you create the life you want, unleash the limiting beliefs that keep you from releasing it, you will flourish! But where do you begin to create the life you want? What kind of life do you want? The first half of the 90 Days to a New Life Direction is all about defining what you want. One of the women I am coaching started out thinking she knew the direction she wanted to go in. As she worked through the exercises and did her exploratory work something very different emerged. She’s always thought she wanted to go to Law School. She started to think about what that would look like for her, meanwhile while doing her research she asked family, friends and co-workers what they valued about her. The feedback she received was surprising yet reassuring. It was some aspect of herself that she took for granted. Everyone she knows turns to her for support, advice, leadership, friendship, direction. As we talked about her relationships and interactions and positions she had worked, this pattern demonstrated itself time and time again.

Armed with this awareness she is now exploring what’s next for her. It is unlikely it is Law School but she is confident it will be a path that utilizes her skills, insights and well established track record. This confidence has opened the door to new adventures. The unleashing part for her has been profound. There have been limiting beliefs that have kept her stuck in many areas of her life. One by one she is taking them on and making choices that will take her in new directions.

One of the key roles that a coach can play is to help their clients find their purpose. There are two different approaches that you can use. One is that life purpose is a matter of personal choice. You get to decide what that is for you! The other way of viewing is that your purpose is designed into your life. For the first approach, you make a committment to whatever inspires you and go with it. The second approach requires that you discover what is there inside you. 90 Days to a New Life Direction follows more along the second approach. The outcome is worth the journey!

What would it be like to flourish? What is you knew what your life was meant to be and where you really fit? What would that mean for you and the direction in your life. Laura Berman Fortgang has worked with thousands of individuals and this process has gotten them to the other side of those issues. You too can discover that path for your life. Join me for one of these action packed workshops. Read on to learn more. And remember, Create, Unleash, Flourish!

How do you know what it is you really want? I ask those I am coaching that question and I amazed at the number of people who to struggle with that question.

How about you? If you are having trouble defining what it is you want figuring that out is your first step. Everytime I ask someone that, I see the cloud come over their eyes as they try to figure it out. How about if you start by listing what you don’t like. Ahhh! Do more things come to mind? If you are like most of us than you can list things that you are not happy with or don’t want in your life. Start here by listing what is not working. Another way of looking at this may be….What am I tolerating in my life!

Tolerations can tie us up! I use to have a list of have to’s Things I have to do, or be, or have. After awhile they began to feel like chains I was dragging behind me. Strive to eliminate any tolerations!. Here is a method to follow. As described in Laura Berman Fortgang’s book, Now What: 90 Days to a New Life Direction, list what you are tolerating then create a possible solution to this toleration, then give yourself a projected date to complete it. Usual at this point, an example comes in handy. Okay, let me give you one of mine. I have to admit, this one is a safe one! Maybe I will try a riskier one on you later. Here we go!

Where I work, we measure performance using Dashboards. Well the dashboard for my role is very vague and fails to measure the quality of the work we do. We have used this Dashboard for several years because it is easier to use it for the information it tracks yet it really doesn’t help us improve the quality of the work we do. Each month when we cover it in staff meetings everyone complains about it’s effectiveness yet we keep going with it. Well, this month I decided to suggest an idea that we survey our clients and use the data ito determine what our clients want from us and thereby create a new more preoductive dashboard. Just the relief that we are moving in a more positive direction has given more energy to the group.

So your time, what are  you tolerating? Is it a long stressful commute? A house that is too large, too small, too disorganized? A career that ceased to be challenging a few years back? An extra 20 pounds? Too much debt? Think about it, what is keeping you up at night? Once you list these tolerations, list a do-able solution. Spend sometime considering a solution that is realistic and possible. Then give yourself a timeframe to have it completed by. In my example above, I realized that it would take until December 2007 to have a new Dashboard completed.

Wonder what is next? That’s right, out of this you can begin to create a vision of the life you want to create for yourself.  From here you begin to see your wants and needs. Try to list what you do want for your life. Next time we will talk about letting go and moving on! Till then, spend some time journaling about your vision for the life you want.

Are you feeling satisfied in your career? In your relationships? In your life?
Well, many of us today are discovering life is about more than what we are doing now! Maybe something is missing, but you aren’t sure what it is?

Each of us has a specific life direction, it is up to us to discover what that is. I have been working with a process created by Laura Berman Fortgang called 90 days to a New Life Direction based on Laura’s book of the same name.

The first 45 days are spent discovering our specific purpose and the second 45 days are spent desigining a life plan which includes this purpose. Our life plan needs to be fully integrated into everything we do.

I have discovered and uncovered many things about my life that have set me in a new and exciting direction. I have worked with others who have created new careers, new life directions and established new relationships.

What willl it take for you to venture out into a new direction?
What do you really want that you are not reaching for?

Let me know you thoughts here and come back to hear more about the steps to a new life direction.

May 6, 3:30 AM — [ Edit | Delete | Unapprove | Approve | Spam ] — Hello New Life Direction Seekers

The Life BluePrint Institute introduces a 90 day process created by Laura Berman Fortgang, called, “Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction. This blog is time spent sharing about that process and the journey some people are making with their lives on the path to a new career, lifestyle, relationship or life! 

How many out there are looking for What’s Next for them? Are you satified with the life you have or do you want something more?

Well if you are like most of us, we are all searching for more. What do we mean by more? Well what are you doing now and how do you feel about that? Do you have a career in a Corporate environment, equitable salary, great benefits, security! Yet, something is missing, can you really express who you are? How much creativity can you express. Many of the people I coach are conflicted. They are comfortable in their careers yet there is a big hole there too!

Perhaps, you have already decided to leave your comfort zone in search of what is next? Anything could have triggered that move, new baby, retirement, layoff, buyout, conflict between your values and your companies?

Yet still some of my clients are single parents, divorced, working a full time job and going to school, raising kids. Dealing with the overwhelm is constant! How do we turn the overwhelm around and build something out of it?

Well, first step we have to do is commit to ourselves and making our growth, change, new direction, a full time job. How long can you commit to getting yourself focused? How about 90 days! That’s right commit to 90 days to determine a new life direction!

People have done amazing things in 90 days. How do you get yourself motivated to determine your direction and take action?

Well it actually is going to require some effort on your part. I have worked with many people who did not know where they were going to find the time. However, once they cleared the deck of tolerations, clutter and got focused, they found the energy to make things happen on their new direction.

So by asking yourself a series of quesions, perhaps working with a coach or perhaps joining a coaching group, is a way to commit, take action and succeed in developing your new life direction.

Joseph had been in his career in the financial industy since leaving college over 15 years ago. He was making good money when he started working with me, he had job security, great benefits. With a family to support, he now there is something more for me, but what? He felt that he had a creative side that did not get expressed in his role as a Manager in the Phone/Processing Department of his long time employer. He thought to be creative, he had to take up art and quit his job and become a struggling artist. He felt he owed his family more than that kind of life, so our work together explored how he could explore his creative side and see where he could use that in his current role.

I suggested he read, Julia Cameron’s “The Artist Way”. Slowly he could reconnect to his creativity by taking time each morning to explore his thoughts by writing Morning Pages.

Everything you are against weakens you. Everything you are for empowers you.”

– Wayne Dyer

I love this quote for what it taught me about myself. I remember a time when I struggled with extreme fatigue. I was so exhausted some days I dragged through my days. As I tried to get to the root of what it was, I came across this quote.

At the time I was struggling with working in a full time job that was a conflict with my values, struggling with debt, striving to start my coaching practice all while raising my 17 year old son. Every day was full with work, things to do and challenges at every turn. Often I did not have any control of things, despite efforts, focus and attention to this things, I felt overwhelmed with all that I needed to do and yet I seemed to only be treading water. Cpnstant movement that never went anywhere!

One night while at dinner with some coaching buddies, (good friends) they pointed out to me how I was resisting being who I am. I was spending tons of energy fighting what I could naturally do it I let myself believe! Sounds kind of mysterious doesn’t it? Well have you ever been with someone who you know has potential, a gift, the ability to make things happen and they couldn’t see that? Well, I’m sure you have.

I would compare that experionce to what happened to me. No matter what they saw in me, I denied it. I could go into great detail about my frustrations and pain and struggle and they advised me to let go of that belief and create a new one. Simply see yourself for who you are.

How do you do that? Well from my experience as well as the experience of others I have coached, I learned to rely on these steps:

1.What do people come to you for, what to friends, family, business partners rely on you for?

2. How do you use that gift in your life, do you turn your back on that and say it is insignificant or is there some small way in your life you use this gift from time to time?

3.Once you define your gift, practice using it as many different ways as you can. Make it apart of your daily interactions.

I bet an example would help create a picture of what I am talking about.

When I asked others what they came to me for, they told me I could make sense of what was going on for them based on what they shared with me and what I came to know about them. I realized this was my intuition I was using.

I realised that working in a corporate setting, I had learned to turn my intuition down to a low volume.  It was constantly there in the back of my mind, but I would second guess myself many times. They I started to pay attention and realized that would often know an outcome, direction or solution to a problem before it happened. I would say to myself, I knew that, that’s what I thought etc.

Then I recognized it was up to me to trust that I am intuitive and when I use it, it makes a difference in people’s lives that I interact with.

So I started by practicing using my intuition. In my corporate job, I would not say it was intuition, I would frame it in a way that everyone could relate to or understand. It just gave others a feeling of trust and confidence in working with me.

As a result today I am learning to rely on my strengths and live my life as who I am rather than the safe me. Today fatigue evades me most of the time. Whenever it creeps back, I know it is time to do a personal assessment of what is really going on in my life.

I challenge you to answer the question, “What are you pretending not to know” I would add to it, what are you pretending not to know about yourself.

“Discover the Possibilities”
W